I was talking to an acquaintance today and she was pretty upset. I kept trying to fix it and make her feel better but I couldn't. I could spend a page writing about me trying to help make her feel better and failing but I'm just going to save me and you the trouble and say it in my fourth line. I was upset because seeing her upset made me sad and I didn't want to deal with that. I didn't want to feel sad. There was nothing wrong with how she was feeling, it was harmful, obviously it wasn't good that she was feeling upset but there was nothing wrong or bad or evil about it either. It wasn't necessary to avoid it.
In general it's also very easy for me to start feeling afraid of feeling sad and ashamed of my feelings, especially if I'm around people that are trying to avoid their feelings as well. I've been thinking about this for a while and wondering how to deal with people who can't seem to handle my intensity. Tonight I am thinking that maybe by my having confidence to be myself scared or sad or whatever I am that they are so afraid of being, I am contributing something because they might also be afraid of that aspect of themselves as well.
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