Uncertainty as an adult and the fear of facing mistakes

Could you let down your hair 

And be transparent for a while 
Just a little while 
See if you're human after all 
Honesty is a hard attribute to find 
When we all want to seem like we've got it all figured out 
Let me be the first to say that I don't have a clue 
Don't have all the answers 
Ain't gonna pretend like I do, just 
Trying to find my way 
Trying to find my way the best that I know how 

Lifehouse-Trying

In the vein of my last post, I once made the comment to someone that, "When I was a teenager I used to wonder why adults had to pretend to know everything and act like they had it together even when they didn't. But now being a little older I see how much pressure there is to get it together and have it figured out when you pass a certain age."

I felt less pressure as a teenager to have my life together. Now I feel more pressure, sometimes I feel like, "Oh my goodness I'm acting so immature. I should have it sorted out by now! Why am I making these silly mistakes in the way I deal with things ?" I feel scared of admitting I don't have it together at all. When you're a teenager it seems people expect you to not have it together, to some extent, and it's considered forgivable to not know what you're doing and hence it's easier to admit it when you don't have it together.

I think the thing about having a perspective like that is that may not necessarily make you less likely to make mistakes but it makes it harder for you to recognize and correct your mistakes when you do make them. It makes making and admitting mistakes seem shameful or immoral and it makes taking risks or at least taking a risk and acknowledging that you could be wrong seem unacceptable. You have to play it safe and getting it wrong seems like such a great tragedy that you don't even want to imagine it.

I live to some extent with the legacy of people who chose to live in a box and deny all uncertainty about God, religion and the afterlife. Their beliefs and my beliefs weren't supposed to be subject to change if we got more information, we had to get it right, know the right answers and make the right decisions, on the threat of hell in the afterlife.

I used to have this sign I had on my desk that said, "The perfect is the enemy of the good." Maybe I should pull out that sign again.